The words we speak, our attitude and how we approach others, I believe, does set an example to our children whether we realize it or not. Being positive and an optimist does not mean being perfect. In my opinion, perfection is an illusion and an unattainable goal. Being positive with our words and our actions helps us cope and navigate when in fact, things don’t go perfectly our way.
I recently heard a parent compliment another parent on their child’s performance after a game. The parent of the child responded back, “I wish she was as good as what you think.” My first instinct was to turn around and say something to the parent, but what happened instead was I turned around and caught his child’s reaction to his words and attitude about her performance during the game. It washed over her face. She did not look mad or even sad. Rather, she looked burdened- as if 100 lb. brick had placed on her back by his words.
I am not suggesting we tell our kids they are amazing and perfect at every turn. Not at all. What I am suggesting is how we approach it and choose to address it with our children has an impact on how they feel about themselves. It’s not just with our children -it applies with most people we come into contact with on a daily basis. If I am having a bad day that does not give me the right to talk down or speak negatively to others. I still have a responsibility to control myself and approach others in a positive manner.
I once read an article that chronicled the day of a person who had a negative attitude vs. a person with a positive attitude. They both did the exact same things in the course of the day and interacting with similar people, but the outcome was vastly different. The point was that two people can do similar tasks, but depending on their attitude, their day can turn out dramatically different. Have you ever had a negative boss? A negative friend? A neighbor that has a negative attitude? If so, you know after a while any interaction with this type of person feels heavy and like a burden – kinda like a 100 lb. brick.
The great news is, as parents, we have a choice. We get to choose our attitude and how we approach our children and our family on a daily basis. It’s not always easy, but nonetheless, a choice. Speak words of encouragement, support and kindness. Choose to stay away from words