Brave… Just for Today

I woke up in the middle of the night recently thinking about how to help one of my kids who was dealing with feeling betrayed. I laid in bed at 3AM thinking of the last time I felt deeply sad. I recalled the heartbreaking sadness I had felt being in ICU with our youngest daughter when she was only 8 years old. She became sick very quickly days after we retuned from a family trip driving to the Grand Canyon. We were blindsided and I was terrified. I prayed and prayed as I sat next to her bed for days never letting go of her precious little hand. Then it was confirmed- her pancreas was shutting down leaving her insulin dependent as a Type One Diabetic for the rest of her life. As I cried listening to the doctor, something miraculous happened…she reached over and grabbed my hand. The doctor paused. Amelia looked at me and said, “It is ok Mom, we will get through this together.” She was brave. And at that moment I realized I only needed to be brave enough for that moment. After returning home, settling into a new routine with medical supplies and a new reality, I kept telling myself to be brave just for today. Then tomorrow I would do the same. And the next day. And the next day. I had forgotten that being brave doesn’t feel brave while you are doing it. It feels scary, lonely and hard. But like that precious little hand of my daughter’s gently holding mine reminded me, being brave just for today was enough. The next day, I talked to my kiddo who was hurting and reminded her to be brave…just for today.

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